Body

Posts about body image and fitness.

Episode 32 – Our Favorite Apps



This week The Chicks chat about all of their favorite #apps! We talk about the Mint App as well as our other #favorite #financeapps and discuss #Debt and how we manage it.  The Chicks agree that they love #NavyFederalCreditUnion #NFCU as well as Dave Ramsey. #DaveRamsey has an #app also! #Snowball Oh and The Dave Ramsey Podcast. We move on to #CreditCardPerks – specifically #SouthwestVisa and the #BarclayCreditCard. We also love our #electric #cooperative #SmarthubApp…
For #music there is only one #Spotify and for #ChoreApps – #ChoreMonster is the best and their new #HoneyDo #Mothershp and #Landra apps.  #Paribus and #Ebates for #savingmoney and  for #livemusic – #ABandsInTown and #SeatGeekApp. We super love #Dropbox and the #Foursquareapp – Jennifer loves the #HappyCowApp for all things #vegan
#Grubhub
#Lyft
#LyftVsUber
#TripAdvisor
#AmazonPrime
#AmazonMusic
#OviaApp
#Fitbit
#AppleWatch
#MyFitnessPal
#C25K
#CarrotApps
#WeatherApps
#CalorieTrackers
#HungryHowies
#BJsBreweryApp
#WhatABurgerApp
#ChickFilAApp
#GoogleHome
#TheNestThermostat
#Canary camera
#BuyMeAPie
#HEB
#Untapped
#RelaxMelodies
#RelaxMeditation
#GuidedMeditation
#Facebook
#Buddhists
#Weezer
#FloatFest
#TheBodyguardPlay
#Mumfordandsons
#ImagineDragons

And if that’s not enough, bonus points if you can work one of these in:

#TheyDeserveMyMoney
#ItSmellsLikeCleaning
#Denialist (is it a word?)
#SuperAnalBillPaying
#IDidntRealizeItWasAFuckThatSituation
#FoodIsMyFavoritePerson
#EvilCookyLaugh
#TreatYoSelf

#YouDoYou
#YouCanRunPeople
#BuddhistMonksinBFE

Check out this episode!

The Secret Shaver’s Society

In this week’s podcast, we are discussing The Vajayjay and in the course of that discussion, this old blog post was mentioned… reposting here for fun 😉  If you haven’t checked out The Tales From The Chicks podcast, you can find us on itunes 🙂
Originally posted August 30, 2005
It all started with a hair.
A hair is such a tiny little thing, but you get one that is ingrown and it can make your life a living hell while it sorts out its issues with its little hair therapist. We females tend to get these a couple of times a year, give or take. So, Thursday I got one. Being females, this came up in conversation between Jennifer and I. We, somehow or another, came to the conclusion that it would be best for the hair if I shaved off all the other hair. You know, so it wouldn’t be so scared to come out. So, all of it. As in bald.
Yeah, some of you are like “so what?” but I haven’t ever done that before so I was like “uh, no.” Jennifer assured me that many many many females out there are doing this and expressed some serious curiosity at how I could have made it twenty five years without ever having shaved down there. If I remember correctly, she said “I can’t believe you have never shaved your kooch!” That’s such a lovely word… I explained that it was really quite simple, I just don’t do that. I am, what I like to call, a trimmer. I keep everything trimmed and neat and am perfectly happy to do so. I have never felt the urge or need to just make it all go away. Just shave it all…
Anyway, I figured what the hell right? I mean, what harm can there be in it? Apparently everyone’s doing it. So Friday, it all went. All of it. And oh.my.god – WEIRD. I was immediately pissed that I had done it and didn’t dig it all. But, I shrugged it off and figured it was no big deal… it would grow back in a few days and all would be right in my world pants again.
Until he called Saturday on his way to my place. I was like yeah, ok, I’ll see you in what? Fifteen minutes? Ok, cool.
Then I hang up.
And then it hits me.
OH. FUCK. Oh fuck, no, fuck fuck fuck. I immediately call Jennifer (who doesn’t answer until the second time I call!!) In between her fits of laughing, she assures me that this is really not that big of a deal and that I shouldn’t be freaking out about it! Oh, I wasn’t freaking out about it all. I was trying to barter my soul for a little crotch toupee, but I wasn’t freaking out or anything…
“Well, what do I tell him?” I asked her as I paced up and down my hallway. “He’s going to notice that something is different Jenn-if-er!”
There is a two minute break in conversation here while she laughs and then dries her eyes while catching her breath.
“Don’t tell him anything, he’ll figure it out by himself.”
Another minute and a half while I am aghast at this entire thought process.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I can’t just sit back and not tell him! I can’t believe this! This is your fault you know??? You were the one who said it was normal! Ohmygod…”
More laughing followed by the promise to relay this entire story to her brother in a few minutes.
“Seriously, Heather, it is nothing. Maybe he’ll like it.”
“Like it? Like it? Are you fucking serious? Have you seen it? I mean, not mine. But have you ever looked at yours? I mean, have you really looked? Who does this anyway? Why would he like it…. Oh… he had better not like it! I am so not doing it again, even if he does like it!”
She can’t even respond. She is a nifty little fit of giggles and can’t even answer me. I had to go anyway. I had like ten minutes to find some way to fix this problem.
Ten minutes later…
Yeah, I couldn’t barter anything I had for hair. Turns out that your soul? Yup, pretty much useless in the grand scheme of things. He got there and we stood outside and talked but I can’t hear anything he is saying because there is the constant There isn’t any hair down there! How do you bring that up in conversation? Hey, so, um, just thought I would let you know, I shaved. Yup. Just shaved it all off. God – I can’t fucking say that! What the fuck do you say? Can you say anything or does this violate some law somewhere?
“Heather? Heather? Hey, are you ok?”
“What? Oh yeah, I am fine. Sorry, was just -er- thinking about some thing… anyway, you were saying?”
So I manage to keep myself distracted enough to concentrate on our conversations with out obsessing. I mean, it isn’t that big of a deal right? I mean, he isn’t going to just freak out and run to his car screaming right? Oh god.
So, some time passes and we end up in bed. Ok, shut up, I know we always end up in be, ok? I knew it was going to happen, it wasn’t shocking or anything. But then I am thinking about how to work it into the kissing and groping and… well you know. So, I stalled. Instead of just getting it over with, I instead stayed dressed and went down on him. (Ok, keep in mind that I am still trying to overcome this problem. It will happen, ok??) I stayed there… for a long time. Well, I kind of went from kissing, back down, to kissing and back down. And I was actually having a pretty fucking good time.
He, however, wanted to get my pants off. So he tries to and I am all like “no, um.. no.” He looks at me like I have lost my goddamned mind. Which is pretty much the same way I would have looked at him. He’s all like “are you serious?” So, resume making out and he tries again and I say “hey, uh, I need to tell you something…” and he says “right now?” And I say “yeah.” But neither of us are really stopping to talk, because really, who wants to talk just then? I mean, any talking you want to be doing isn’t about the weather or your taxes, it is more directive or encouragement or… well you know, stuff relating to the sex you are having. So, he tries a third time and I pull my head out of the spin cycle and tell him I need to tell him something. He must have realized I was serious or he realized that if he didn’t stop and let me say what I needed to say that he may never get into my pants. Either way, he stopped. “Ok, what is it?” Now, I could have said like five words here and gotten it over with… but when have you guys ever known me to say only five words when several hundred will suffice?
So, I say “ok, see the thing is… I had this like… ingrown hair. So, I was talking to Jennifer and we sort of thought that it would be a good idea to just… shave it all… since that might help… but, the thing is now that it is all gone. And… um… I’ve never done that before, so I’m kind of weird about it.”
He is just looking at me like that’s it? And kind of doing that thing where you are just waiting to see if the other person is done so you can move on. But, was I done? No siree.
“Ok, and I am pretty uncomfortable with all of this so if you could kind of not make a big deal out of it then I would really appreciate it.”
I would have went on you know? I would have made sure to clarify that later on I would like to know the effect this particular aspect had on the outcome (sorry, lol – no pun, lmao) of the entire evening. But, that was pretty much shot to hell because I think he was just done waiting.

Since that night, I have spoken to two other girl friends who thought my entire little episode was rather hilarious. I have also been made privy to such things as what style to shave! STYLE! Are you fucking joking? Oh, no… apparently there is The Triangle, The Hitler and the one where you shave everything on the bottom, but leave the top. I am three for three! All three girls I spoke to about this couldn’t believe I wasn’t in their little Bald Club. That is the only reason I am blogging about this because this was officially the first time I was too embarrassed to post about something on here. But, knowing that I am apparently odd for not doing this regularly has made it a lot easier.
So spill it people. Give up your secret shaving stories.

Wednesday of Veggie week

*disclaimer – I am totally eating a donut as I type this… and it isn’t even a great donut, it’s totally subpar. And I’m eating the last bite right now. Damn you, donut.

Tuesday night I got home and I made the Oh She Glows Burrito Bowl which was super yummy. There was enough left over for three lunchboxes. The Gingerbeard Man and I each took one for lunch on Wednesday and he took the last one for lunch today.

Wednesday morning I had the Happy Digestion Smoothie sans parsley because I bought four bunches of cilantro instead of two cilantro and two parsley. And people, I know the difference. I don’t know what happened.

For dinner, we had falafels and cucumber salad with some warm naan bread. The falafel flavors were great but the consistency didn’t exactly hold together well. The cucumber salad was yummy but I had to skip the red onions because: kids…

I will post Thursdays food later but I wanted to mention here that I do feel great (donut and chocolate cake aside), but when I went to start my grocery list for next week I was immediately like ugh, so much work. Not necessarily the cooking part, I don’t mind that. More the planning part. Picking meals, making sure I can tweak them to be kid and husband friendly and then the list and the shopping and the prep and the cooking. I’m probably just being a whiny pants because we have been so busy with all of the end of school year stuff… but when The GingerBeard Man said he had already started the grocery list I was like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. So next week will probably not be a great healthy week in my household. In fact, it will probably be the junk foodiest week ever since the kids are free from prison school… but stay tuned because I anticipate once the craziness of moving two daughters across the country has commenced, I will probably take it on again 🙂

Tuesday of my Veggie Week

Since yesterday was a holiday, my eating right week got a day late start. Which was great since my Mother in Law sent me a recipe for a very chocolate sheet cake that we made spur of the moment yesterday evening and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on that.
This weekend was ridiculously busy. The Gingerbeard Man was super sick last week, recovering literally in the nick of time. I was also a little under the weather midweek through the weekend. Nothing awful, just not 100%. We were celebrating my daughter’s fourteenth birthday with an Alice in Wonderland Murder Mystery Dinner Party which meant not just prepping food and costumes and cleaning the house but then also keeping ten thirteen and fourteen year olds preoccupied for about six hours. The party was hugely successful. My daughter has an amazing group of friends who all arrived in costume and in character. They had a great time 🙂
The next day we were going to my in-laws for some fajitas and pool time. My older two girls stopped and grabbed new bathing suits and then spent the majority of the day lounging by the pool. I am all for any time they get to spend together because I can just see it slipping away so quickly. That same evening, my oldest daughter decided it was a good time to move my grandkitties home for the remainder of the time she is here. She will be moving home in the next few weeks in preparation for the trip to Connecticut and with her and her roommates rarely home and moving their stuff out, she thought it would be easier on the kitties. I think she was right.
Monday we stayed oh so blissfully home. It was awesome. No plans, no chores… just leftover fajitas and salsa and playing Mexican Train dominoes and drinking sangria. Mid afternoon, we decided we wanted to have some of the sheet cake we had the day before with my in-laws and so we got the recipe and made a big chocolate cake and ate it with blue bell vanilla ice cream 🙂
It was pretty late by the time we were done with dominoes and cake and Game of Thrones but I was so excited about my veggie week that I went ahead and prepped mine and The Gingerbeard Man’s lunches for today. We kicked off the week with “Pasta” Primavera. I loathe cooked carrots so I kept mine raw when I reheated them for lunch today. The “pesto” is really great. Mine doesn’t look like the picture but it tastes lovely. I started my morning off with a Green Monster and for dinner we are having the Burrito Bowl.
I’m not weighing in or counting calories or anything this week. I’m just going to really try and eat a plant based diet as much as I can and see how I feel. I’m really all about feeling great by the end of the week and hopefully seeing my energy levels increase 🙂

Dear Body

It’s almost an every morning occurrence.  Step out of the shower and face my body head on.  Stand up a little straighter, turn sideways, tighten up my core, imagine what it would like if I lost another twenty pounds.  Would that be enough?  If I go to yoga more or maybe start running again, maybe I can get rid of some of that cellulite. Pull my shoulders back, lift my chin higher, think about eating less carbs – stop.

It’s enough.

It’s enough already.  So many minutes turned into hours and days and weeks of tearing down the things I don’t like about my body in the mirror.  Comparing it to the bodies of the women on magazines, on tv.  Never really acknowledging that those women are photoshopped and they don’t even look like that.  But it doesn’t matter because we are raised in a society that tells us we never look good enough.  We always need to be dieting and working out and pushing ourselves more and more to look better and better or risk being miserable cows.

I have an amazing husband, one who tells me every single day that I am beautiful.  And I believe him.  I know he looks at me and sees a beautiful girl.  Why can’t I ever see myself the way that he does?  Why do I want to scoff and list off all of the stuff he must not be seeing?

We aren’t taught to be grateful for our bodies.  To look at them with appreciation for carrying that baby or dealing with that illness or getting up every damn day and going and going and going until we finally stop.  Our scars are ugly and our imperfections should be hidden away and why? Do those things make us unhealthy?  And shouldn’t that really be the whole damn point?  Like I want this body to last, not impress other people. But then those years of being told that I do kick in and there isn’t anyone more critical of those imperfections than I am.

And we just keep right on going.  Teaching our daughters that how they look is super important, judging our friends based on how much weight they gained after that pregnancy.  Having surgeons permanently alter the way that we look so that we can feel one step closer to the cover of that magazine, so we can feel superior.  And it needs to stop.  How we look has to stop being so damn importantly. We need to treat ourselves better and cut ourselves some slack when we want some ice cream after a long day.